Category Archives: My Life in the Porn Business

PORN STAR- EVERYTHING YOU WANT TO KNOW AND ARE EMBARRASSED TO ASK

Screen shot 2013-04-02 at 1.43.21 PMI’m proud to announce the release of my new book, “Porn Star-Everything You Want To Know And Are Embarrassed To Ask” on Amazon.

For those of you who know that I was doing movies back when Lincoln was president, throughout those years I have been peppered with hundreds of questions pertaining to the porn industry, the girls, what it’s really like to be doing the “dream job” many dudes would kill for, and much much more.

I realized that while I’ve acclimated to the industry and it seems quite normal (or disfunctional) at times to me, there are those who find it bizarre and have a lot of questions!

So, I wrote this book as a kind of Q&A session, as if you and I sat down over beers and we shot the shit.

My goal is to answer the questions most commonly asked by fans throughout my years in the business. While the questions are framed towards my perspective as a male performer, I’ve done my best to answer with both sexes in mind.

This isn’t a “tell all” where everyone is made to look bad while I look like a saint; where anyone who’s wronged me gets blasted. This isn’t a “whoa is me” story. It’s not Tale of Two Cities and it will not win a Pulitzer Prize. It’s just an honest perspective from a guy who’s been in the game for 20 years.

Jenna had her book and it made the best seller list. Mine will probably make the “best cellar” list because I don’t have boobs and a vagina. Regardless, if you want to know the truth from a male’s point of view, here you go.

You can get it here.
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“AFTER PORN ENDS”- A DOCUMENTARY FILM LOOKS INTO THE ‘PLAYPEN OF THE DAMNED.’

A few weeks ago, while attending the XRCO Awards, someone decided to run a preview of a documentary film entitled  After Porn Ends  right before the start of the show. The night was supposed to be a celebration and a chance to honor the performances of the past year and the performers as well, but the silence that descended on the room was akin to someone making cocaine overdose jokes at this year’s Grammy Awards. This was a case where people looked around at each other and mouthed the words ‘what the fuck is this?’. It was a stupid way to start an award show, and while  it made people in the room aware of this soon to be released film, it did so in an entirely inappropriate manner. Imagine showing a documentary about baseball’s steroid era to a room full of  former and present day major league ball players, where (according to Jose Conseco) 80% of the players have used steroids in one form or another. Yeah, dumb.

Documentaries about the porn business are notorious for being ‘Debbie Downers’. The general public may be interested in what a documentary film about the porn industry may has to say, but not  necessarily so for the industry itself. Films like this shows us our scars. It disembowels us as we relive the pain we have all endured and try to  forget and hide. It’s tedious work to put on a smile and act as if whatever the events the person on-screen is speaking about only happened to them and didn’t happen to us; as if we were above it all.

I loathe watching documentaries having to do with the porn business. They make my stomach turn. It’s like watching the 9/11 news footage over and over again. Because I know the ending, the angle, the parting shot. While it may present itself as a cautionary tale, it fails to dig deep or at least examine the stimulus that made each person choose to enter the business. Why they chose to use their sexuality as a currency in exchange for ‘fame and fortune’.

I was very resistant to watching this documentary After Porn Ends”.  Because inevitably, what happens is that the film becomes a pain fest, a ‘whoa is me’ diatribe. Not through any fault of the participants but through the inadequacy of the filmmakers to find the real story, the compelling elements. They fail to properly follow the hero’s quest (or in this case the person being interviewed), and thus the film is somehow hobbled in a weak attempt to present something that is missing a key element; conflict.  Conflict with oneself and conflict with others. That is what drives us to relate to a character; the conflict they endure and how they overcome it. Joseph Cambell wrote about why certain stories resound with us for generations in The Hero with a Thousand Faces and what key elements are hit on that makes the story full and satisfying.

When I first started in porn, I was more than happy to talk to anyone who was doing a documentary on porn. Even with print interviews, I saw an opportunity to peel back the cloak of mystery about us as performers and the business as a whole.  I liked being honest and truthful about what exactly the business offered me. The good and the bad.

That changed over time. I eventually refused to participate in these documentaries because I didn’t agree with the intention of the projects.

And I soon learned that many of these films never saw the light of day. Also, that the directors or producers had their own agenda regardless of how open and honest someone was who had been interviewed. “How can we capitalize on this business and make some money? I know! Let’s tell a sad story.”

In all the years I’ve been around, I’ve seen many attempt to capture the essence of  the porn industry and its performers.  Many times it ends of being a flat note of ‘see kids? you don’t want this to happen to you.”

This film speaks with over 14 former performers in the business (Asia Carrera, Randy West, Tyffany Million, Nina Hartley, Seka, Houston, Raylene and others) and former porn industry critic/blogger Luke Ford and industry historian Bill Margold. Interestingly, they speak with only three male performers, all three having their heyday back in the 80′s; Randy West being the only one who continued performing into the 90′s. (Notoriously absent were Jenna Jameson, Jesse Jane, Sasha Gray, Tera Patrick;  girls who have been the most recent names to have crossed over and experience mainstream  media exposure due to TV shows like Entourage, films like The Girlfriend Experience and Private Parts and Jenna’s book.)

This was the first time I had an interest in seeing a film where I knew and had worked with the women interviewed.

One of the things that became abundantly clear was the fact that they had expected ‘acceptance’; they thought they were entitled to it because they were now on TV. As Bill Margold puts it, “They were looking for credibility, validation and recognition through the porn industry.”

Being on TV, at one time,  meant  you had talent, looks and people were drawn to you as a person. And as there were only three networks up until the last 25 years or so (and before cable television), if you were on TV, you had been chosen from a very small group of people to be the face of America.

But now all that has changed. To be on TV doesn’t mean the same today. Anyone who can be ‘entertaining’ seems to on TV now.

Everyone who grew up watching TV, thought that as they were on TV themselves, they were as successful as the people they saw on TV before, and as talented as well. But I think we’ve seen enough ‘Behind the Music’ type shows to know this is hardly the truth with famous people. Their success was subjective.

I won’t spoil the film but there are some interesting things I noticed. One, many talk of their children as saving their lives. Family seems to be a grounding element in each person’s happiness. Two, while some were able to look at the good and bad parts equally and just observe that part of their lives, some were still ‘in’ their story and seemed to fall back into a cycle of ‘look what happened to me, isn’t it sad?’.

Not to take anything away from the people interviewed. Their story is their story. But some ‘were‘ the feelings they felt as opposed to separating themselves and being able to acknowledge the feelings without ‘being‘ the feeling.

One poignant comment by one interviewee was how they “missed the affection of sex” and ” how they didn’t know how to act on a normal date”. Another saysshe lost that hope” while performing in front of the camera.

Randy West speaks honestly about what the business gave him and Nina Hartley makes a great observation about who is really suited for work in the professional job market.

“When your involved with this industry, you lose your humanity.” Luke speaks about the negative aspects of the human condition as if it only applies to people who work in the sex business. I think it can be applied to any line of work. Politics, law, medical practice and others have all lost a certain amount of humanity simply because they are industries unto themselves and the bottom line, the profit, is the main and only concern.

Losing your humanity is something that occurs when we lose sight of what makes us truly happy. Some recognize it immediately and change while others do not. In the end, it depends on one’s expectations and whether or not the path you’ve chosen will reap the benefits you expected.

I’m curious to know what other documentaries or books about the adult business you’ve watched or read and whether they gave you a better insight into the world of porn. What are some that have been enlightening?

Have you read Jenna’s, Tera Patrick’s or Monica Mayhem’s books? What did these books offer as insight into the porn business for you as the reader?

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WHY I WILL BECOME A MORMON AND MOVE TO UTAH

Mormon’s have the best deal going. They believe in a concept called polygamy (not to be confused with bigotry).With polygamy, you don’t have to choose and marry only one wife. You can choose and marry as many wives as you wish. That is SO awesome, because if I had to choose which one porn star was my favorite of all time to work with, I would have a very hard time choosing. The best deal for me, would be to take all of my favorites, marry them, and move to Utah where we could have little Republican presidential nominees. They would be all boys, because Mormon’s kill the girls at birth.

Or is that the Chinese? I forget.

Seriously though……

How many times have you been sitting around with the your buddies, drinking some beers, reminiscing about the girls you fucked in college or before you settled down and married, and inevitably, someone poses the question,If you had to pick just one, who would be your favorite fuck of all time?”

You grapple with the question in your mind, overwhelmed by the enormous task of having to choose one girl out of many. One girl who fulfilled all your desires without inhibition. You think in your head, weighing the different things you did with different girls. What you liked about each one. The crazy fights or arguments you had with each one. The terrible break-ups and mind fucks. Finally you blurt out, “Man, I can’t answer that! They were all great in their own way!”

If there is one question, most asked of me by fans, this would certainly rank up there as one of the most asked. “Who is your most favorite girl you’ve ever worked with?

When you think about it, it’s not surprising that guys would want to know who my most favorite girl would be after so many years in the porn business. Guys love to rank things. Their salaries, their favorite college teams, their dick size, their favorite MMA fighters, their favorite films, their favorite shirts, their favorite cars, their favorite beers, and their favorite sexual conquests.

I’ve witnessed a cornucopia of cute girls and beautiful women coming and going in the adult business and I fondly remember my scenes with quite a few of them. Girls of all different shapes and sizes, ethnic backgrounds and personalities have graced  the adult screen and I was excited to work with them all. Blondes, brunettes, tall, short, big-boned, petite, natural breasts, enhanced breasts, gym bodies and normal physiques.

When someone asks me this question, it’s impossible for me to choose just one. Maybe, if I hadn’t been in the business, I may have had a lower number to choose from and I probably would be able to choose a favorite person from my personal life. The great thing about being in the adult business is that all the different types I was attracted to, were available to work with. My tastes reflected everything I found sexy and compelling about women.

I’ve performed in well over 800 movies. Due to the sheer amount of work, there were many who came and went that I enjoyed working with, even if it was only one time. I cannot remember all of their names, but I often recall our scenes.

There were a few who didn’t make a lasting impression. Hey, not everyone can be a spectacular lay. And to be fair, I’m sure I didn’t make an impression on some of them either, for whatever reason. But there were many that I loved working with, and  I repeatedly asked to be paired with them. Each of the girls had their different personal and physical traits and I liked them all for different reasons. Sadly, there were still more who were in the industry that I wanted to work with but never got the chance. Some decided to stop doing boy/girl scenes, some mostly worked in non-feature  productions or they left the business entirely.

When I got into porn, most of the stars that I was familiar with, were from movies in the late 80’s and early 90′s. There were women that I absolutely adored because I loved the energy and sexuality they brought to the screen. Women like Barbara Dare, Tori Welles, Porsche Lynn,  Aja, Amber Lynn to name a few. To me, they epitomized how a woman looked and behaved when it came to sex. They may have been young but they were made up to look like mature women. Back then, women were celebrated as sexual creatures, unlike now, where the teenage girl next door is touted as the ultimate object of desire.

These woman were incredibly sexy in the way they carried themselves on screen. With various cinematic role models such as Sophia Loren, Marilyn Monroe, Bridget Bardot and others, these woman had strong, mature sexual icons to emulate. It was disappointing that I didn’t get to work with some of these favorite stars, but as always, there were new girls coming into the business who were equally pretty and just as eager to perform in front of the camera.

When I started in films, the on-camera talent pool was small, possibly numbering around 150 people at times. There were dozens of girls who I worked with repeatedly that I enjoyed as partners onscreen and  offscreen as well. Being on film sets for 10 or more hours a day, you develop a surrogate social network with the other talent where we openly discussed our personal lives and found ourselves drawn to certain people. Socializing together in our down time allowed us to have a ‘life’ off set like other working professionals. The difference was, we all had carnal knowledge of each other.

I was very fortunate to have great relationships with certain directors who would ask me who I wanted to work with OR they would tell me which girls they had cast in their upcoming film and let me choose my partner.

Here are SOME of my favorites who I enjoyed working with many times over and always tried to be booked with them. We had great chemistry and fun times on set. Some have moved on and some are still active, either filming or dancing on the road.

Ashlyn Gere, Debi Diamond, Jesse Jane, Brea Bennett, Asia Carrera, Gina Ryder, Stormy DanielsInari Vachs, J.R. Carrington

Kaitlyn Ashley, Lacy Rose, Laura Palmer, Alicia Rio, Nikki Tyler, Racquel Darrian, Melanie Moore, Roxanne Blaze, Kira Kenner, Jenna Jameson, Leanna Heart, Nici Sterling, P.J. Sparxx

Jessica Drake, Anna Malle, Rebecca Lord, Sophie Evans, Sunset Thomas, Monica Mayhem, Tiffany Mynx, Dasha, Janine, Taylor Hayes, Kayden Kross, Wanda Curtis, Vanessa Chase

Leena, Sasha Grey, Christina Angel, Roxanne Blaze, Ann Marie, Ava VincentKaylani Lei, Kelli McCarty, Avy Scott

Tiffany Million, Sunrise Adams, Sondra Hall, Shy Love, Monique DeMoan, Monique Alexander, Melissa Hill, Julia Ann, Hannah Harper, and Celeste.

Credit is due to the directors who believed that if you put two people together who really dug each other and had that lust for one another, you were going to get a great scene in the movie. Some directors, though, would be infatuated with some new girl based solely on a photo but after the scene, it became apparent that the girl couldn’t perform as well as the director had hoped, and that was a huge disappointment.

In the end, what the viewer wants to see is a GREAT sex scene where the chemistry between the performers is REAL.

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CAN A FILM DIRECTOR CHANGE YOUR LIFE?

When I was just starting out in the biz, I was doing quite a lot a videos and films that required some acting on my part. I was working with Paul Thomas and Bud Lee quite a bit for Vivid features. The stories were mini movies. Longer than normal scripts, the roles requiring acting from both the actors and actresses. Not just saying the lines correctly or with ‘emotion’, but with some apparent structure to the character on paper in the skin of the performer. Did I lose you? Yup me too.

Anyway, simply said, I was doing films geared for couples. Love stories, revenge stories, mysteries, who dunnit’s, mistaken identities,etc. Bud Lee like to say “Babe, there are 20 stories in writing and we’ve shot each of them 500 times!”  He didn’t actually call me babe, that was his “Porn Director” impression he would do on set for laughs.

One day, I get a call from Jim South at World Modeling (this was the senior, most reading this may not even have met him). Back then, there were two agencies only, Jim’s and Reb’s ( that’s a topic for another post).

The phone call would be something like this (insert Texas drawl between puffs on Salem cigarettes) “Steven, I need you to meet with a gentleman by the name of John Leslie tomorrow for a role. Now before you say anything let me tell you something. This guy is one of the best actors ever in porn and you remind me a lot of him so I told him to take a look at you for this film. You’re not as good looking but that’s not a problem,” (Jim loved to tell me I wasn’t good looking) “But he’s doing a big film and he needs a serious actor who can carry the film. Are you interested?”

I said yes and met with John the next day at his hotel room on Sepulvada Blvd. Some puke green hotel I remember, maybe it was Van Nuys Blvd. Shit, it doesn’t matter.

The following AVN Awards (1995), I had my first best lead actor in a film  nomination among other nominations. The film, “Dogwalker”, had many noms and won best film. I think Christina Angel and I won for best couples sex scene. I lost the acting award to either Buck Adams or Mike Horner, I don’t recall. I did however win the XRCO Award for the role in Dogwalker.

After that, I had more work than I could handle. It eventually led to me being the first guy ever to sign an exclusive contract in the business, with Vivid Video.

I tell you what happened in my first meeting with John in another post. And the behind the scenes stories of  the “Dogwalker” shoot.

To this day, I still get people coming up to me and saying  “I fucking loved you in Dogwalker”.

 John Leslie changed my life.

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ONE LONG ARABIAN NIGHT

Early in my career in porn films, I had the chance to observe that when a title did well in sales, it usually allowed for more sequels to be made.

That happened with the first of three movies I had been cast in. When I was starting out, I had become friends with Jonathan Morgan. He’s a multiple award winning director now, but back then he was one of the newer performers on the scene. It was harder for guys to break into the business as many producers didn’t want to take the chance of a guy failing to perform in scenes on set. Girls were welcomed with open arms but unless they had a boyfriend or husband they only wanted to work with on camera, it was hard for a guy to waltz in and start geting work. The point being he was the most recent new male talent in the business (for almost 1.5 years) before I entered.

Anyway, we had met on the set of a film that this director named Pipes was shooting and became friends instantly. We were silly, young, good looking and always trying to crack people up on set with jokes and impressions. He eventually took me around and introduced me to a lot of  industry people who, in turn, hired me. One of those people was Jim Enright. He was an editor/director and he hired Jonathan and I to play in a new movie for a new company called Wicked Pictures.

Wicked Pictures was started by Steve Orenstein who had left another company to start his own. This was his first big budget feature for Wicked and it was entitled ‘Arabian Nights‘. Written by Jace Rocker, it was a comedy about two bumbling detectives hired to solve a mystery. Jace was a fan of the Three Stooges and had written the script in the same vein but it morphed into a bizarro Dean Martin and Jerry Lewis pairing. Of course, that was because of the way Morgan and I rehearsed the script. I never liked the Stooges; I was big Jerry Lewis fan. I adopted that persona for my character Roscoe and the story needed the other character to play ‘straight’ or serious.

So I became the crazy ‘Lewis’ with Morgan playing the more centered ‘Martin’. At the time it was hysterical; if I saw the film today I’d probably cringe a little. But we were off and running.

It was supposed to be shot in two days. Back then, we cranked out 35 page scripts in two days. That was all the budgets would allow time wise. Thirty five pages with five sex scenes made up the movie. Budgets were around 30k to 40k depending on who the lead girl was and how much money she wanted for scenes plus what she charged to be on the boxcover.

Porsche Lynn was the boxcover girl with actresses Lacy Rose, Melanie Moore and new girl Sierra in the film as well. TT Boy, Julian St. Jox and Sean Michaels rounded out the male cast.

At the time, I remember overhearing that it was difficult to sell movies to cable companies who broadcast in the southern U.S. states if there were interracial sex scenes in them; specifically, if a black man was fucking a white woman. It was crazy to me that racism was still very much alive in the 90′s and it made it extremely difficult for black male performers like Sean and Julian (and Ron Hightower) to get work in films that had them performing scenes with white woman. Every one of these companies wanted to get their movies on cable and if someone alluded that having interracial scenes could scuttle that success, sometimes a company would change the scene.  Ironically, it was not a problem for these cable companies to purchase a movie with a black girl being fucked by one or more white guys. But God forbid a white woman was being fucked by a black man or several!!! ’ This was just crazy thinking. I guess it was fear of a black dick. Nobody understood why these companies still harbored these antiquated prejudices. I can’t imagine how hard it was to work in this industry as a black male. Sean always exhibited grace and professionalism on set every time we worked together. To all the companies that ignored that ‘southern mentality’, thank you!

We shot at Ron Vogel’s studio on Gault Street. It was a large studio on his property that he built to shoot his magazine layouts in addition to the other studio he had in Chatsworth on Canoga Ave. Ron had been a photographer on set for years, in addition to also shooting layouts for magazines like Hustler, Cheri, High Society and Swank. He leased one of the only spaces designated for studio filming in the valley to other production companies for their own shoots.

The first day was brutal as we had a lot of action and pranks that had to be shot for the film. It was during the California summer months where temperatures would reach 100 degrees easily by 11 am. Getting the cameras set up, sets dressed, wardrobe tweaks, make up, light stands situated and lines rehearsed was always time consuming. And on top of that, there was always the forgotten lines of dialogue or wrong timing that slowed us down. This was a big involving project and having Jonathan and I cracking up or the crew cracking up  ourselves while we shot our dialogue scenes. We were out of control. I was trying to up the anty by doing crazier and crazier physical comedy. We enjoyed the attention and that fed us more. We were having fun.

Though, there was a situation that happened where Jonathan had talked his girlfriend (at the time) into doing a scene in the movie with him. She was hot looking but when it came time to finally film, she must have taken some pills because she became incoherent in the middle of the scene and was in no shape to continue the sex scene. We had to find another actress to ‘double’ as her pussy so we could film the climax.( I think Sierra ended up doing it.) That was nightmare situation that no director wants to go through. Jonathan was crushed and it set us behind schedule.

The first day ended about 5 in the morning and I remember TT Boy and I leaving to grab breakfast at the Lamplighter near his house off Van Nuys Blvd.

The second day of filming went much better and we finished the film. It ended up getting great reviews and selling well for Orenstein. About a year later I got the call from Jonathan that we were green lighted to do the sequel, entitled ‘Haunted Nights’ with a new girl named Celeste.

I tell you about that show in another post.

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