Triple Crown win again for “Wetwork” from Vivid

Screen Shot 2015-04-14 at 6.20.47 PMFor the second time in three years, the critics bestowed me with the Best Actor award for my role in Vivid Entertainment’s “Wetwork”. Thanks to XBIZ, AVN, XRCO (and an honorable mention to XCRITIC) for the positive reviews. Also, Penny Pax won an XRCO Best Actress award for her role as the assassin in the movie.

Wetwork has won numerous awards this season and I urge you to find a copy, stream it or VOD it thru Vivid’s site.

Special thanks to Eli Cross the director and the entire crew that worked with us.

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I have to also say that Aftermath from Wicked Pictures starring Jessica Drake is also a must-see. Brad Armstrong has always maintained a creative edge with his films that is unrivaled and he is one of the last few directors who puts his heart and soul into his films. You won’t be dissatisfied with these two great titles for your viewing pleasure. Great for couples too!


And, last but not least, congrats to the other male talent that were nominated for their respective roles. I am excited to see which ones will carry on the torch as notable actors in the next generation of performers.

A few of my favorite things

If you saw Lady Gaga sing at the past Oscars, you’ll know what I’m talking about.

The female form is one of the most breathtaking things you can see and experience in life. All types, shapes, shades, colors- it is all is so intoxicating. I’ve been addicted to it since I was a boy. It’s probably why I’ve done what I’ve done for so long.

Here are some pictures that will support my thesis…..

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XCritic bestows Best Actor award for Wetwork

WetworkThank you to @XCritic for awarding me the Best Actor award for my role in Wetwork. I’ve been fortunate in my career to have my best roles acknowledged with nominations and some awards and this is one role I tried to make entertaining. Pick up a DVD copy and grab some tissues and popcorn.


Here are the winners announced.

In Production-

Hi everyone, thanks for checking in so much.

I wanted to let you all know that I’ve begun filming a documentary film about the male performers-past and present, in adult movies today. Entitled “A Pound of Flesh”, this is the first documentary to focus on the male talent that has graced the screen over the last 20 + years. All your favorites will be interviewed. I invite all of you to follow the film as it progresses by following @APOFthefilm on Twitter.



After initial production wraps, we will have an opportunity for you to own a copy of the film prior to distribution.

This is where you will learn from over 25 of the biggest male stars-how they got into the business and their personal stories.

Also, teaser clips will be posted at  so make sure you subscribe to the channel!

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Have a safe and happy holiday season and New Years!


WETWORK-The last big film from Vivid Entertainment (NSFW)

wetworkI’ve had a long time relationship with Vivid. Since 1993, I have either starred in or participated in numerous films alongside some of the most well known Vivid contract girls such as Janine, Jenna Jameson, Dyanna Lauren, Rachel Darrian, Celeste and Chasey Lain.

In 1996 I became the first male star to be put under exclusive contract with a video company. I have many good memories of when films were big budget and the talent pool was small. We were rebels long before ‘doing porn’ became chic for lazy youngsters.

This film will probably be the last original film they produce as Vivid makes a transition to TV. Director Eli Cross brought me on board to play the lead role and I am proud to say he did a great job on the project. And I can actually say this is up there with the better roles I’ve played in the adult genre.

If you’d like to get a copy of it, click on the link below and enjoy!


Chanel Preston
Dillion Harper
Dillion Harper
Chanel Preston
Ava Delush
Dahlia Sky
Stormy Daniels
Adrianna Luna
Chanel Preston
Chanel Preston
Carmen Callaway
Dakota Skye
Dakota Skye
Carter Cruise
Allison Moore
Alina Li
Derek Pierce
Stevie Shae
India Summer
Sara Luvv
Digital Playground
Billy Visual, Shylar Cobi
India Summer, Allison Moore
Liv Aguilera
Katie St. Ives
Penny Pax
Alektra Blue
Chanel Preston
Stevie Shae
Janice Griffith
Janice Griffith
Ava Addams
Karla Kush
Romi Rain
Asa Akira
Karlie Montana
Nikki Daniels
Stormy Daniels set
Bonnie Rotten


Abbie sent me this picture of her newly arrived copy of my book, “Porn Star-Everything You Want To Know and Are Embarrassed To Ask”, available at
Have you ordered your copy yet?
happy girl


Bonnie RottenBonnie offers me coffee as I enter her…..home. She’s getting her day started and after asking that we push this to 11 am so she can sleep in, I can only surmise that I did a good deed. Because if sleep is what keeps Bonnie looking so good, let the girl sleep in.

She looks radiant. A little sleep still hangs about but she’s ready for the interview and then she’s off to an appointment. She’d fucking cute. She is one of my favorites; not just for her looks and sex but also her personality. She’s just pleasant to be around. I think back to when I first met her- she popped in on a set with Jack and proceeded to flash me her pink pussy while sitting on the couch, throwing a smokey “come hither” look that has had many men bust a nut while their wives snored alongside them at night.

Some would say she’s “alt” because of her ink but she’s smart for her age and the ink actually makes her outstandingly individual- maybe even glamorous. I find her easiness refreshing in an industry seemingly chock full of girls using their vaginas as an ATM machine- devoid of any passion for sex or an attraction to men- willing only to do just enough to get by.

This girl works hard. As a Spiegler girl, she is amongst a small group of professional actresses/performers who understand the importance of professionalism, work ethic and a desire to do good work. And I can tell you guys out there in fandom that when this girl locks eyes with you and is heading your way, you get the sense that you’re her dinner but she’s gonna mess around with you before she eats you, tail and all. Very few women I’ve seen in my years in the industry elicit that feeling.

Here is the first segment of our sitdown.

Second segment…


james deen reads dr. suessOver the last year James Deen’s notoriety increased quite a bit with his role in the film “The Canyons” alongside TMZ  bait chum Lindsey Lohan and his “Back Door Teen Mom” xxx video with MTV’s  “Teen Mom” spawn Farrah Abraham.  While these two previously mentioned “actresses” bounce from show to show hawking their rehab and therapy stories in hopes of not becoming irrelevant, James happily carries on doing what he’s always wanted to do- be a porn star.

James is dead tired. When we meet up at the Fox and Hounds in Studio City, he tells of the difficulty he has with trying to finish his 7 Sins movie pretty much all by himself. Because his budget is small from the start, he has had to go into his own pocket to finish the project he has envisioned. He’s having to do everything technically related to the feature along with performing as well. After our interview he will run out and buy hard drives and return home  to triple back up his content. He hasn’t slept well at all. He’s stressed. He really wants to make his fans happy, the distributor happy and himself happy as he offers up his own creative concept to be judged and absorbed by the professional critics of porn movies. It’s a daunting task. It would be easier to just sleep in and wait for the phone to ring, roll out of bed and go smash some girl for a check. He’s opted to try and build his empire, brick by brick.

He’s a busy dude so he is being generous by sitting down with me and letting me yammer questions at him in an attempt to show the human side to performers. He hates doing interviews and has an aversion to the press wanting him to do interviews to make a buck off him. I make nothing from these interviews; I do them because I like to and I think that helps him relax.

Here is the first segment of the interview as he explains why he wanted to be in porn.


Mark Davis
Mark Davis

I’ve known Mark Davis since I started in adult films. He and I have seen many, many bodies come through and have weathered the changes that have occurred in the industry itself, good and bad. While most new faces don’t even know the history of the people that came before them and pretty much think the world revolves around them, there are many more who remember what the industry was and reflect, somewhat romantically, on our experiences and how we see things today.

As part of my ongoing series of interviews, he gave me the opportunity to sit down with him and speak openly about his beginnings in adult films and his career through 21 years. When we started together, there were no smartphones and the internet was a military protocol system yet to be offered for civilian use. Porn was on tape, two cable channels and print magazines. No one knew our birth names and the personal lives of the performers were kept private.

According to Mark, our sit down was the most comprehensive interview he had ever done. Since I come from the performance side of adult, I felt I had more qualifications in my approach and asking the questions beyond the usual questions civilian interviewers ask. I honestly think we could have gone on for a couple more hours but we each had time commitments and frankly, speaking about our lives in adult is exhausting emotionally.

Recently retired and starting a new chapter in his life, I hope you see the individual behind the face that has been in over 2500 scenes. Thanks Mark!













Marcus London
Marcus London

Marcus London. Handsome, buff, professional and a gentleman who is quick to laugh. He’s one of the few guys left  in the industry that could be considered a member of the “old guard”. I’ve known him through the years and he’s always been the guy who shows up prepared and ready to work hard.

As part of my on-going interview series with performers in the industry, I took the time to sit down with him while he had a break on set and find out a little bit more about him. As always, he speaks intelligently and is not someone to shy away from expressing himself. Not only is he an actor/performer but he, along with Tommy Gunn and Tony DeSergio (and distributed through Wicked Pictures), put together a movie entitled “Spartacus MMXII”; which given the fact that budgets for high end adult features have plummeted throughout the years, was a pretty impressive attempt to deliver a quality movie to audiences.

As it happens with many mainstream media outlets, he was approached to be the subject of a piece that ended up making him look like the typical “roast beef” someone might expect a male adult performer to be like. (Roast beef is what the French lovingly refer to the English, because they just love each other sooooo much. English call the French “frogs”. Not my problem)


The cast of Spartacus MMXII
The cast of Spartacus MMXII

I won’t link to the article but suffice to say if this had happened to me, I’d be fuming. I wanted to give him an opportunity to talk about it, along with other questions I came up with from my pea-sized brain.

Because of the length of the interview, I had to split it into two parts. Here they are below.

(Don’t expect Entertainment Tonight style here folks; I do this alone because I want to and I’m NO Charlie Rose either.)











Spartacus MMXII trailer is here below. Buy it! 



Hey AVN, I need to update this photo soon. ??
Hey AVN, I need to update this photo soon. ??

I have to say that I’m humbled by all the accolades this year for my performance in “Torn”. To some, winning these awards may seem trivial and downright comical. Some even laugh at the idea of awards for adult entertainment.

But the fact is that I’ve always tried to do my best. As with anyone with years of experience in this industry, you develop a love/hate relationship with the Machine. Above all else, I found my way into the industry because I wanted to have a connection with others and sex was one way to do that. Acting was just in my DNA. Some tell me I should have pursued mainstream. As one long time Hollywood actor friend of mine said, “You made a right when you should have made a left.”  So be it. I’m here where I am.

What makes this sweet for me is that it was a difficult thing to play the humanity in a character we probably have all read about, known or experienced. It would have been easier to play him one dimensional-the bad guy. But this guy is more like us than we care to realize. The guy, at a cross roads in life and feeling unfulfilled, finds a connection with someone after committing to another. Who hasn’t had a moment where we say to ourselves, “I want something better!”. It’s an easy brush off to say, ” Midlife crisis, dude” and shake your head in dismay.

But I think that when one reflects on their life, and all of you will at some point, you find that there are genuine pieces of individuals you still love- traits, imperfections, dreams and illusions-that stay with you and become part of you forever. You still love that person but something has changed. You realize you have lost the one thing that drew you together in the first place-joy and wonder. Your expectations for that individual were unfounded and really a projection of one’s self.

But you feel stuck. It makes moving ahead difficult because we beat ourselves up internally. We realize how imperfect we are and how far we are from who we’d like to be. We realize the mistakes that tear us up inside will always haunt us. We realize that we are our biggest critics. And society says, “You’re not happy? Fuck you, suck it up. Neither are we.” No one gave us a rulebook and we  inevitably find ourselves stumbling our way through life on this rock.

Fuck it, go with your heart. Damn the naysayers, it’s you alone who can make you happy. No one else will.

The sweetness of this is also amplified because I met another soul who aspired to give their best but was also stuck like me. Jacky St. James wrote this story and had trouble finishing the script because she couldn’t find a performer who could pull this off the way she envisioned it in her head. This is where I came in. After experiencing a soul crushing/ gun to the head breakup and the collapse of my dream life, I was in need of a role where I could express these feelings. I used my pain to portray another’s.

In the end, even though it is another adult film in a slew of hundreds shot over the years, everyone conspired to do our best work. We didn’t follow trends or worry about whether this was ‘sexy’ enough; we just did what we could do at the moment. We told a story most everyone is familiar with. With no rehearsal or a budget that studio films get, I think we did a damn good job. We may never have that moment again but it is that moment that will stay with me to the end.

Thank you Jacky, Remy, India, Tom, Raylene and Eddie. Thanks to all who watched and loved the movie. Thanks to all the reviewers and XRCO, AVN and XBIZ people. Thanks to the few who care about what they do. Performers, directors, crew- anyone who doesn’t just show up, cruise through and collect a check. John Leslie once told me when we were shooting Dogwalker, “You will look back at this and be proud. Nothing will have the same value as this will.” He was right. I watched it months ago and saw the same guy I see today (albeit younger); me attempting my best. These are the crumbs we leave on the planet that will soon blow away. Make them the best you can.

This is the best I can offer at the moment. And I am proud of my work.


kindle coverI’m proud to announce the release of my new book, “Porn Star-Everything You Want To Know And Are Embarrassed To Ask” on Amazon.

For those of you who know that I was doing movies back when Lincoln was president, throughout those years I have been peppered with hundreds of questions pertaining to the porn industry, the girls, what it’s really like to be doing the “dream job” many dudes would kill for, and much much more.

I realized that while I’ve acclimated to the industry and it seems quite normal (or disfunctional) at times to me, there are those who find it bizarre and have a lot of questions!

So, I wrote this book as a kind of Q&A session, as if you and I sat down over beers and we shot the shit.

My goal is to answer the questions most commonly asked by fans throughout my years in the business. While the questions are framed towards my perspective as a male performer, I’ve done my best to answer with both sexes in mind.

This isn’t a “tell all” where everyone is made to look bad while I look like a saint; where anyone who’s wronged me gets blasted. This isn’t a “whoa is me” story. It’s not Tale of Two Cities and it will not win a Pulitzer Prize. It’s just an honest perspective from a guy who’s been in the game for 20 years.

Jenna had her book and it made the best seller list. Mine will probably make the “best cellar” list because I don’t have boobs and a vagina. Regardless, if you want to know the truth from a male’s point of view, here you go.

You can get it here.
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A few weeks ago, while attending the XRCO Awards, someone decided to run a preview of a documentary film entitled  After Porn Ends  right before the start of the show. The night was supposed to be a celebration and a chance to honor the performances of the past year and the performers as well, but the silence that descended on the room was akin to someone making cocaine overdose jokes at this year’s Grammy Awards. This was a case where people looked around at each other and mouthed the words ‘what the fuck is this?’. It was a stupid way to start an award show, and while  it made people in the room aware of this soon to be released film, it did so in an entirely inappropriate manner. Imagine showing a documentary about baseball’s steroid era to a room full of  former and present day major league ball players, where (according to Jose Conseco) 80% of the players have used steroids in one form or another. Yeah, dumb.

Documentaries about the porn business are notorious for being ‘Debbie Downers’. The general public may be interested in what a documentary film about the porn industry may has to say, but not  necessarily so for the industry itself. Films like this shows us our scars. It disembowels us as we relive the pain we have all endured and try to  forget and hide. It’s tedious work to put on a smile and act as if whatever the events the person on-screen is speaking about only happened to them and didn’t happen to us; as if we were above it all.

I loathe watching documentaries having to do with the porn business. They make my stomach turn. It’s like watching the 9/11 news footage over and over again. Because I know the ending, the angle, the parting shot. While it may present itself as a cautionary tale, it fails to dig deep or at least examine the stimulus that made each person choose to enter the business. Why they chose to use their sexuality as a currency in exchange for ‘fame and fortune’.

I was very resistant to watching this documentary After Porn Ends”.  Because inevitably, what happens is that the film becomes a pain fest, a ‘whoa is me’ diatribe. Not through any fault of the participants but through the inadequacy of the filmmakers to find the real story, the compelling elements. They fail to properly follow the hero’s quest (or in this case the person being interviewed), and thus the film is somehow hobbled in a weak attempt to present something that is missing a key element; conflict.  Conflict with oneself and conflict with others. That is what drives us to relate to a character; the conflict they endure and how they overcome it. Joseph Cambell wrote about why certain stories resound with us for generations in The Hero with a Thousand Faces and what key elements are hit on that makes the story full and satisfying.

When I first started in porn, I was more than happy to talk to anyone who was doing a documentary on porn. Even with print interviews, I saw an opportunity to peel back the cloak of mystery about us as performers and the business as a whole.  I liked being honest and truthful about what exactly the business offered me. The good and the bad.

That changed over time. I eventually refused to participate in these documentaries because I didn’t agree with the intention of the projects.

And I soon learned that many of these films never saw the light of day. Also, that the directors or producers had their own agenda regardless of how open and honest someone was who had been interviewed. “How can we capitalize on this business and make some money? I know! Let’s tell a sad story.”

In all the years I’ve been around, I’ve seen many attempt to capture the essence of  the porn industry and its performers.  Many times it ends of being a flat note of ‘see kids? you don’t want this to happen to you.”

This film speaks with over 14 former performers in the business (Asia Carrera, Randy West, Tyffany Million, Nina Hartley, Seka, Houston, Raylene and others) and former porn industry critic/blogger Luke Ford and industry historian Bill Margold. Interestingly, they speak with only three male performers, all three having their heyday back in the 80’s; Randy West being the only one who continued performing into the 90’s. (Notoriously absent were Jenna Jameson, Jesse Jane, Sasha Gray, Tera Patrick;  girls who have been the most recent names to have crossed over and experience mainstream  media exposure due to TV shows like Entourage, films like The Girlfriend Experience and Private Parts and Jenna’s book.)

This was the first time I had an interest in seeing a film where I knew and had worked with the women interviewed.

One of the things that became abundantly clear was the fact that they had expected ‘acceptance’; they thought they were entitled to it because they were now on TV. As Bill Margold puts it, “They were looking for credibility, validation and recognition through the porn industry.”

Being on TV, at one time,  meant  you had talent, looks and people were drawn to you as a person. And as there were only three networks up until the last 25 years or so (and before cable television), if you were on TV, you had been chosen from a very small group of people to be the face of America.

But now all that has changed. To be on TV doesn’t mean the same today. Anyone who can be ‘entertaining’ seems to on TV now.

Everyone who grew up watching TV, thought that as they were on TV themselves, they were as successful as the people they saw on TV before, and as talented as well. But I think we’ve seen enough ‘Behind the Music’ type shows to know this is hardly the truth with famous people. Their success was subjective.

I won’t spoil the film but there are some interesting things I noticed. One, many talk of their children as saving their lives. Family seems to be a grounding element in each person’s happiness. Two, while some were able to look at the good and bad parts equally and just observe that part of their lives, some were still ‘in’ their story and seemed to fall back into a cycle of ‘look what happened to me, isn’t it sad?’.

Not to take anything away from the people interviewed. Their story is their story. But some ‘were‘ the feelings they felt as opposed to separating themselves and being able to acknowledge the feelings without ‘being‘ the feeling.

One poignant comment by one interviewee was how they “missed the affection of sex” and ” how they didn’t know how to act on a normal date”. Another saysshe lost that hope” while performing in front of the camera.

Randy West speaks honestly about what the business gave him and Nina Hartley makes a great observation about who is really suited for work in the professional job market.

“When your involved with this industry, you lose your humanity.” Luke speaks about the negative aspects of the human condition as if it only applies to people who work in the sex business. I think it can be applied to any line of work. Politics, law, medical practice and others have all lost a certain amount of humanity simply because they are industries unto themselves and the bottom line, the profit, is the main and only concern.

Losing your humanity is something that occurs when we lose sight of what makes us truly happy. Some recognize it immediately and change while others do not. In the end, it depends on one’s expectations and whether or not the path you’ve chosen will reap the benefits you expected.

I’m curious to know what other documentaries or books about the adult business you’ve watched or read and whether they gave you a better insight into the world of porn. What are some that have been enlightening?

Have you read Jenna’s, Tera Patrick’s or Monica Mayhem’s books? What did these books offer as insight into the porn business for you as the reader?


I sometimes get emails and FB messages from fans wanting to know a little more about me. While I am flattered that someone has that amount of interest in me, it got me thinking. Why not share the little nuggets I’ve learned along my journey in this life and business.

So, what did I learn? These are just some of the things I’ll share…

Relationships based on great sex will last only as long as the sex does.

-Men should take care of their feet. A pedicure is not reserved only for women. Just don’t buff your nails.

Coke makes everyone unbearable. Have you ever heard someone say, “When you do lines of coke, you become so incredibly charming?”

-The New York Times is still the best newspaper in the world.

Brutal honesty is NOT the best policy.

Having sex with your roommate/neighbor/massage therapist is a bad idea. That goes for the beautiful redhead that waxes your back, too.

-When packing for travel, less is more.

Life is too short to drink cheap booze. Drink the best you can afford. If you can’t even afford that, best not to drink.

-More often than not, people don’t give a shit about your opinion, even if they ask for it. They only want to hear their opinion spoke back to them in a different voice.

Originality is a dying art.

Make sure to stay in touch, especially when you don’t need anything.

-Ladies, when a man meets your eyes and smiles pleasantly, return the gesture. He’s not leering at you, he’s simply saying “I notice you.”

Get a savings account. Deposit your checks into the account. Transfer enough funds into your checking to cover your weekly/monthly expenses. Add an additional amount (100-150) for  small impulse purchases. If you come across something that puts you over that amount, ask yourself “Do I need this, or simply want it?” If you really want it, wait a week. If you feel the same intensity of desire a week later, transfer the appropriate amount to checking and not a dime more. You will find that you have more money saved at the end of each month.

You will not write the next great American novel. Neither will I. So, stop dreaming and move on.

War is ALWAYS about money. Period.

We will never look as cool in designer clothes as the models did in the print ad. Period.

Weekend box office numbers shouldn’t mean anything to you. Don’t mention them in conversation. Unless you are the producer of the blockbuster film, you end up sounding like a douchebag.Wait…what? Oh, producers are douchbags, right.

Don’t let anyone or anything define you.

-I care less about professional team sports now than when I was a teenager.

What other people think of you should be none of your concern.

Silence can be your most powerful attribute.

Grammar, etiquette, and listening are hugely underrated. These are essential for true success.

Keep your cool and get the job done.

All woman lie about their shoe size. And the number of men they have slept with.

You die alone. Period.

-You don’t want to wake up one day and think to yourself. “What a waste.” Go out and do everything you’ve dreamed of doing.

Sex doesn’t have to be a 50 minute marathon event with nine positions. Sometimes, it can be one position and looking into the other’s eyes.

Playing the stock market is gambling. If you want to gamble, go to Vegas, see a show, play the tables, drink some booze and chase some woman. If you’re going to get fucked, at least have a great story to tell your friends.

-Watching the news kills all hope. Don’t watch the news.

-A man should have at least one well made and properly fitted suit. And great shoes to go with it. Polished.

-There is more power in a handwritten letter to your congressman than a bitchy, snide comment on a message board.

-Humor will save your ass.

Fine food, fine wine and great conversation amongst friends trumps a night at the movies. Every time.

Woman ALWAYS  look sexy in stockings and garters. Period.

( more to come….)


Silhouetted by the bright San Fernando Valley sunlight, John stood outside of his hotel room as he lit his Camel unfiltered cigarette and took a deep drag of it. Looking down at the ground, he was deep in thought for the moment. A jangle of nerves, he was preparing to film his biggest feature film with his own money, and the Northridge quake had already postponed his schedule. The house that would serve as our location for the first two days of filming was damaged; the interior walls and ceilings cracked from the 6.7 seismic event. 

John turned his head to me and smiled. “It doesn’t matter.” He said it directly to me but it seemed he was saying it to himself and to the universe. “This is a movie that will be something you can look back later with pride. All the other movies you’ll do after this won’t matter. This will be the one that lives long past you.”

Kathleen, John’s wife, was kind enough to drop by yesterday and give me a DVD copy of the ‘John Leslie Tribute’. I sat there watching and remembering one of my many experiences with John. He had chosen me to play the lead character in his first feature film Dogwalker. When John had passed suddenly in December 2010, I was unable to attend the memorial here in the Southland as I was living in France. I was grateful for this opportunity to see him again, albeit on TV, and to have some time to reflect.

The reasons John is such a compelling person to me are many. He embodied something you just don’t see anymore.


He carried himself with class. He had passion for everything he did. You can feel it in the way he blows on his harmonica. If you’ve never seen John play the blues, you are missing a fine experience. A long time fan of the blues myself, we both shared a veneration for Muddy Waters, among other great blues players.

You can see his passion in his art. His watercolor work of various street scenes in San Francisco’s Chinatown are simply outstanding.

He had a style no one else had. His movies have a texture many try to emulate but never fully capture. He was opinionated but relaxed. But he could argue his point of view with reason, without the need for histrionics.

He was generous yet demanding. I recall one of the last things he said to me after I left our group read through of the script with Jamie Gillis, Jon Dough and Christina Angel. He told me “I don’t want you fucking any chicks during the time we’re making this film.” He pointed down at my cock. “Those loads are mine. I paid for them. I want every cent I paid.” He was making light of it but he expected me to give everything I had on the project. He was putting his own ass on the line and he demanded the same commitment from me and the others in the film.

He had a passion for making movies. He wanted to tell a story, not just shoot pretty pictures. The mystery of the encounter, the buildup, the lusting, the anticipation of sex was just as important  to show as the sex act itself. What was implied but not said had far more weight than just speaking. Dogwalker, The Voyeur and Fresh Meat series are filled with sexual tension. Many times you would catch him watching a girl for a matter of moments and say “Look how sexy she is.” He was enamored by the female creature.

Being well rounded and having outside interests other than porn enabled him to have an impact on people. His love for his wife Kathleen, his art, music, cooking, entertaining friends; all these things shaped him and made him bigger than the sum of his work. As Kathleen recounted, “He gave me everything I wanted, and I didn’t want much.”

I think there is a model here to follow. Be passionate. Be compelling. Carry oneself with class. Have other interest totally unrelated to porn. You’ll be fuller, content and happy. You will be bigger than the sum of your parts.

A moment came as she looked down at the ground. A pause. Reflecting to herself, she looked up at me and then past my right shoulder, as if someone else was there behind me. She spoke.

“We had a great run together.”

Though she spoke aloud, I’m sure it was not for my benefit. Maybe a bit for hers, but I believe it was all to John.


When I was just starting out in the biz, I was doing quite a lot a videos and films that required some acting on my part. I was working with Paul Thomas and Bud Lee quite a bit for Vivid features. The stories were mini movies. Longer than normal scripts, the roles requiring acting from both the actors and actresses. Not just saying the lines correctly or with ’emotion’, but with some apparent structure to the character on paper in the skin of the performer. Did I lose you? Yup me too.

Anyway, simply said, I was doing films geared for couples. Love stories, revenge stories, mysteries, who dunnit’s, mistaken identities,etc. Bud Lee like to say “Babe, there are 20 stories in writing and we’ve shot each of them 500 times!”  He didn’t actually call me babe, that was his “Porn Director” impression he would do on set for laughs.

One day, I get a call from Jim South at World Modeling (this was the senior, most reading this may not even have met him). Back then, there were two agencies only, Jim’s and Reb’s ( that’s a topic for another post).

The phone call would be something like this (insert Texas drawl between puffs on Salem cigarettes) “Steven, I need you to meet with a gentleman by the name of John Leslie tomorrow for a role. Now before you say anything let me tell you something. This guy is one of the best actors ever in porn and you remind me a lot of him so I told him to take a look at you for this film. You’re not as good looking but that’s not a problem,” (Jim loved to tell me I wasn’t good looking) “But he’s doing a big film and he needs a serious actor who can carry the film. Are you interested?”

I said yes and met with John the next day at his hotel room on Sepulvada Blvd. Some puke green hotel I remember, maybe it was Van Nuys Blvd. Shit, it doesn’t matter.

The following AVN Awards (1995), I had my first best lead actor in a film  nomination among other nominations. The film, “Dogwalker”, had many noms and won best film. I think Christina Angel and I won for best couples sex scene. I lost the acting award to either Buck Adams or Mike Horner, I don’t recall. I did however win the XRCO Award for the role in Dogwalker.

After that, I had more work than I could handle. It eventually led to me being the first guy ever to sign an exclusive contract in the business, with Vivid Video.

I tell you what happened in my first meeting with John in another post. And the behind the scenes stories of  the “Dogwalker” shoot.

To this day, I still get people coming up to me and saying  “I fucking loved you in Dogwalker”.

 John Leslie changed my life.